I have a road less traveled in mind. Being sensitive to the external, my attention is often focused outside my body. Now I’m diving inside to explore the source of my thoughts, actions, and affect I bring to the outside world.
It takes courage for me to watch my own thoughts. They drift in and out when not being acted upon. And it takes a lot of practice for me to be calm and sit with myself in this way. But the benefits are clear.
The calm lingers. I can think with compassion. And I’m aware of my feelings, and can see them for what they are… feelings. And this helps me make good decisions in my life.
I’m not an expert on meditation, but I’m also distinctly aware of a higher wisdom in my mind that defies what I’ve learned in a few short decades of life. It’s a Knowing of how to take care of my body, how to live, express myself, heal, and breath. It’s an awareness I suspect is always there, but rarely gets the focused attention it deserves.
But I’m thankful. Appreciative. And very excited to see where this road less traveled leads!
[I Have a Road Less Traveled in Mind was created for Art Challenge #10: A Road Less Traveled at The Artist Challenge. The drawing is approximately 8" x 11", created with watercolors, pens, colored pencils, and paint pens.]
The drawing/painting entitled Monster In My Closet was created for Art Challenge #9: Behind Closed Doors at The Artist Challenge. The artwork is approximately 11″ x 14″ and includes mediums such as watercolors, colored pencils, pens, markers, and paint pens.
Monsters in the closet, or monsters under the bed, are an interesting subject to me. I think monsters represent strong beings that are deeply hurt, insecure, and afraid, but refuse to be broken. Monsters act on fear, they isolate, and lash out in defense even when no attack is present. After all, it’s a tactic I’m sure worked before, when real danger was present.
Approaching a monster invites the biggest baddest scariest monster face one can muster. Which is commonly mixed with a heavy dose of intimidation, screaming, and flailing for good measure.
I try to see them deep down, as a being with old pain and wounds that never healed. If there is no immediate danger, I say “scream to me, monster, and tell me about how much it hurts.” And the next time I see the monster the pain isn’t as deep. Keep crying, monster. And let yourself heal. You’re safe, vulnerable, and seen for who you are, perfect in the moment.
And in time, there is a yawn, and maybe even a smile.
When I was a junior in high school, I had an assignment in Speech class to create a performance piece. I chose to lip sync to a Michael Jackson song for 60 seconds. It went over well, so my teacher asked if I would perform at the Homecoming Pep Fest that week.
I said surrre.
But I wanted to do more than stand up and lip sync for 60 seconds, so I secretly put together an entire dance routine and mixed a few songs together, (Scream and the remix Shout).
I was scared to go on stage in front of all of my high school peers, anticipating humiliation and ostracism, hoping for validation and acceptance. Then my name was called, and as soon as my feet hit the floor my brain turned off amidst a flood of adrenaline. I entered fight or flight mode, forgot the routine, and started moving on instinct. It was a rush that left me with little memory of the actual performance, and I had to ask a friend backstage what happened.
I was subsequently floored by the reaction to my attempt at imitating Michael Jackson. The persona he created invites a crowd to go wild!
“Sophomore Michael Edens dancing like Michael Jackson in 1996 for the Homecoming Pep Fest at Lourdes High School in Rochester MN.”
The performance was fun. I still enjoy dancing almost every day, and am currently fascinated by liquid dancing and popping. There may even be more recent dance videos to follow.
I attended a life drawing session this week, in order to improve my portrait drawing skills. My intention is to create custom portraits for people interested in commissioning me to create artwork for them. And the life drawing sessions are a practice method that helps me take one more step in that direction.
The commissioned custom portraits are slightly abstract and may not look exactly like the subject, but they are unique, honest, and will adventurously challenge you to see yourself or the subject in a new way. My portraits are like a conversation with you. I’ll see you without judgment. And you can keep a record of an artistic interpretation of yourself.
The models in the portraiture below posed for 15 minutes each, so I didn’t get much time to hone in on details and backgrounds, but it was great practice! Mediums include pens, colored pencils, and paint pens.
